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MUNDO VIEJUNO: SIMULADOR DE PELI "X" DE CANAL PLUS

2012-02-10T21:37:00.002+01:00

POST DEDICADO A LOS MÁS JÓVENES
QUE SIEMPRE HAN DISFRUTADO DE INTERNET

THE HISTORY

Ahora ver porno es algo tan fácil como enchufarse con el móvil a internet. En mis tiempos... tenías que pasar un mal rato en el videoclub de la otra punta de la ciudad (media hora disimulando) o esperar que el ratoncito Pérez dejara una revista debajo del sofá (y siempre era el Interviu). Otra opción más remota era la película porno codificada de Canal+. Los Viernes por la noche, si tus padres estaban dormidos, los pajilleros juveniles achinaban los ojos intentando descodificar aquellas imagenes pixeladas. A dia de hoy puede parecer una gilipollez... pero es que no había otra cosa

Un ejemplo de aquella denigración

THE SIMULEITOR

Pues bien, en primicia mundial y adaptando la codificación a los nuevos avances de la tecnología... Os presento: Simuleitor TM. Estás a punto de sentir lo mismo que tu hermano mayor, padres, tios y profesores. Viaja hasta finales del siglo XX con Simuleitor TM. Achina los ojos y disfruta...

NO BAJES TODAVÍA, IMPACIENTE,

SIN LEER LO DE ARRIBA

UN ABRAZO PARA TODOS AQUELLOS QUE PERDIERON LA VISTA GRACIAS A CANAL+

(Simuleitor TM es una gentileza del Centro de Oftalmología Barraquer)

DIOS MIO, SE VE TODO, SE VE TODOOOOOOOO!!

MUNDO GABACHO

2012-02-10T18:31:00.002+01:00

LOS DEPORTISTAS DE ESTE PAÍS SON MEJORES QUE LOS FRANCESES HASTA DROGADOS.

Gimnasta de élite francesa meandose de miedo al saber que iba a concursar con una paralímpica española que hacía 6 años que no entrenaba.

EXTRA BONUS:

Un ejemplo de como Rubalcaba consiguió la presidencia del partido Socialista...

DESCONECTA UN RATO

2012-02-09T20:55:00.002+01:00

Dale al play... y que le den por saco a todo.

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¡¡QUE MAÑANA YA ES VIERNES!!

¡QUE TÚ PUEDES!, ¡TÚ PUEDES!

HASTA QUE EL CHASIS AGUANTE

2012-02-08T19:16:00.000+01:00

Dedicado a los yayos que todavía añoran su moto. Puñetera edad, puñetera artrosis. Visto en Finofilipino.

DEDICADO A LAS CUÑADAS

2012-02-07T21:50:00.001+01:00

Dentro de la mitología Tolkeniana, en el apartado de entes familiares, nos encontramos con un ser que se sitúa en un escalafón inferior a la suegra pero que no por ello es menos terrorífica: LA CUÑADA. Normalmente de apariencia grácil en la juventud (fase larvaria) puede llegar a convertirse en un ser deforme y endemoniado (vamos que no la quieres ver ni por el Skype con la cámara apagada).

Mantente alejado del radio de acción de su viperina lengua...

Dedico esta canción a una cuñada muy especial: LA ARRUGAS. Por su mote abras comprendido que ya pasó la fase larvaria durante la construcción de las pirámides.

&lt;p&gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;If you can not see this chirbit, listen to it here http://chirb.it/xkcG3b&amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&lt;/p&gt;

SI, ES UN POST MACHISTA... ¿Y QUE?

2012-02-07T19:05:00.134+01:00

Al igual que el príncipe Felipe también tenemos derecho a soñar con esas presentadoras que salen (o salían) por la TV. Soñar no es malo, coñe. Aquí os dejo unos cuantos fakes porrilleros, algunos con tapujos en los bajos (para que luego no me acusen de viejo verde). Se ha hecho lo que se ha popido. Si encuentras una foto, mejor o de alguna nueva, deja en comentarios el enlace.

Levanta el tapujo (meme) con el ratón.

"Dos tetas tiran más que dos carretas"

(Proverbio budista anónimo)

EXTRA BONUS:

Esta de pequeño no me la hubiera perdido por nada del mundo...

Antes de iniciar el vídeo mira esta importante noticia (AQUÍ).

QUE PUÑETERA CASUALIDAD

2012-02-06T02:54:00.003+01:00

Dale al play... camarada.

El 21 de Diciembre de 2011 se realizó una sesión fotográfica de moda en el Costa Concordia (el mismo) para un especial del diario El Mundo que se publicó el 8 de Enero (Magazine dominical). Lo más curioso es que el tema de este especial era el centenario del hundimiento del Titanic. Toma ya.

Para más gafe se decidió reproducir varias de esas instantáneas famosas de la película del señor Cameron con dos modelos que imitaban al DiCaprio y a la otra petarda (no me acuerdo). Jodeeer cuanta puñetera casualidad.

Je,je, que cabrón y cachondo es eso que llamamos "el destino".

DEDICADO A TODAS LAS VICTIMAS MUNDIALES DE LOS SALESIANOS (COMO CADA AÑO)

2012-02-04T18:27:00.013+01:00

He recibido un email para confirmar mi asistencia a la próxima cena de antiguos alumnos... 13 Años de mi puñetera vida aguantando a las hordas de San Juan Bosco... Señor, dame paciencia... no quiero, no quiero... noooooo!!.

POR FAVOR BORRADME DE LA PUÑETERA BASE DE DATOS!!. SOIS PEORES QUE TELEFONICA.

Y RECUERDEN AMIGUITOS QUE...

EXTRA BONUS:

Un temilla de Paul Fuster, norteamericano de origen catalán que buscando sus orígenes acabó tocando con Quimi Portet (ex-Ultimo) y haciendo bolos por aki...

PRESUNCION DE INDECENCIA

2012-02-03T18:55:00.003+01:00

Dale al play... xiquet.

EL FIN DEL MUNDO ESTA CERCANOOOOOOO...

2012-02-02T20:52:00.002+01:00

Muy bueno este video apocalíptico (visto en Finofilipino.com). Otra ignomínia que empaña el talante generoso y humanista de internet y... que nos acerca, cada vez más amigos, al ¡¡FIN DEL MUNDOOOOOOR!!

¿POR QUEEEEEEÉ?

¿TE IMAGINAS APAGAR PARA SIEMPRE INTERNET?

2012-02-02T19:54:00.003+01:00

DEDICADO A "SITA MONI" QUE SE ESTÁ ENGANCHANDO A LA RED

CREO QUE VOY A DEJAR ESTE MALDITO VICIO

Y practicaré un deporte, aprenderé un idioma, haré nuevos amigos, pasearé por el bosque, pintaré un cuadro, colaboraré con una ONG, me compraré ropa...

BUENO, TAL VEZ MAÑANA.

YA OS LO DIJE

2012-02-01T19:28:00.007+01:00

Están aquí entre nosotros. Ahora son hordas de robots voladores, mañana lo serán de Terminators. Skynet se aproxima y con él... el fin del mundo. No pagues la hipoteca.

POST AMABLEMENTE PATROCINADO POR:

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TERMINATOR ES YA CASI UNA REALIDAD

SKYNET OS DESEA UN FELIZ 2012

Pronto, muy pronto, en vuestros hogares.

TE LA ACONSEJO

2012-01-31T19:30:00.008+01:00

Dale al play... Gringo chingón.

Vas a alucinar con esta peli mexicana. ¡Espera!, nada que ver con la mediocre "Colombiana" (por si has oído algo de rebote). Comencé a verla sin grandes esperanzas. Los primeros minutos te hacen pensar en un film de crítica social... PERO QUE LEXES... de golpe la protagonista se mete en un cirio acojonante.

Peliculón de acción que no tiene nada que envidiar al cine made in USA (distribuida por 20th Century Fox). No te cuento nada más...

LA JUSTICIA ES CIEGA, SORDA, TONTA, MUDA...

2012-01-28T21:18:00.004+01:00

Esto es lo que hay y aún da gracias que no te juzguen a ti.

La banda de los cuatro vuelve a la carga

&lt;p&gt;If you can not see this chirbit, listen to it here http://chirb.it/B38Cwv&lt;/p&gt;

Bueno, me he equivocado.

Son 5 fantásticos que te cagas.

Mientras tanto, en el Tribunal supremo...

MATARÓ SE MOVILIZA CONTRA LOS DESAHUCIOS, ¿Y TÚ?

2012-01-27T21:28:00.000+01:00

Sres. de la Banca, ya se que hay muchos jetas por este mundo y que nadie trabaja por amor al arte o por caridad. Pero enviar a la calle a parados, ancianos u otros colectivos en riesgo de exclusión no es muy humano. Tampoco admiten la Dación en pago, una segunda oportunidad para aquellas personas que engatusaron con hipotecas imposibles y que ahora se encuentra al borde de la ruina...

SRES. DE LA BANCA: USTEDES CREAN MISERIA

&lt;p&gt;If you can not see this chirbit, listen to it here http://chirb.it/KI0sw0&lt;/p&gt;

MARZO DE 1981: UNA TAL VIVIANNE POLLENTIER SALE EN EL PENTHOUSE...

2012-01-27T19:00:00.043+01:00

ESPECIAL PARA VIEJUNOS Y GENTE VINTAGE*

(*Lo de Gente Vintage es un eufemismo de Jóvenes Carcas)

Actualmente la conocemos como Demi Moore pero un año antes del Mundial del Naranjito era conocida como Vivianne. Si quieres ver la moda en "peluquería genital" de aquella época sólo debes quitar el tapujo (meme) con el cursor del ratón (si, se puede mover). Bajo la imagen hay un enlace a este "incunable" erótico-festivo que he encontrado en la web guarrilla de Greenshines (por casualidad). Years pass...

Enlace al artículo aquí.

UN CONSEJO:

Os recuerdo que las fotos personales o familiares pueden acabar en muy malas manos. Por ejemplo las mias (broma) y más si tienen cierto toque "picante". Protege tu material audiovisual si no quieres llevarte un disgusto (en la mayoría de host fotográficos puedes elegir quien accede a tus álbumes).

- ¿Por qué lloras mi sol?.

- Buaaa!, porque te he visto el ojete, mamaaaá!!.

Lo dicho, que hay gente muy marranota por ahí.

MUNDO VIEJUNO: ¿TE ACUERDAS DE ESTOS DOS?

2012-01-25T20:47:00.004+01:00

Si, Beavis and Butt-Head, pero ahora en 3D. Esto me lo pone a huevo para un temilla metalero...

Dale al play... colegui.

"SACAR AL PUÑETERO NIÑO QUE LLEVAS DENTRO ES BENEFICIOSO PARA LA SALUD."

~~Chuck Norris~~

Fotos de los dos mendas vía Machacas.org

¿LA ALTERNATIVA A MEGAUPLOAD?

2012-01-24T16:37:00.008+01:00

Puedes acceder a AnonyUpload desde aquí: http://www.anonyupload.com/. Se trata de un Host realizado por un simpatizante de Anonymous. Es gratis y busca donaciones para su ampliación. Yo creo que van a tener éxito. Pruébalo.

Su web traducida al castellano

Postdata sobre el caso de Megaupload: Mira esta noticia y entenderás...

EXTRA BONUS:

Abuelo... mira, es supermán.

TURBO-FOLK: NO TE ACOSTARAS SIN SABER ALGO NUEVO

2012-01-24T15:56:00.008+01:00

до врага!

Muy interesante el vídeo sobre este tipo de música electrónica Serbia, relacionada con la mafia y la violencia durante la guerra de Yugoslavia. Vale la pena (ya solo por los pivones "poco" operados que salen). Cultura eslava del SXXI.

Ahora unos ~~tostones~~ ejemplos:

Goga Sekulic (oye pues esta no esta nada mal para acompañar un cubata, je,je).

Dunja llic (a lo Lady Gaga).

Jalena Karleusa (la Mónica Naranjo del este).

AKÍ MÁS DIVAS DEL TURBO-FOLK

DEDICADO A L@S QUE TIENEN LAPSUS DE MEMORIA NOCTURNA

2012-01-24T03:20:00.006+01:00

Dale al play... y deja el garrafón.

DISFRUTAD, QUE EL FIN DEL

MUNDO ESTÁ CERCANO.

Vídeo vía machacas.org

SUEÑO DE UNA TARDE DE DOMINGO

2012-01-24T01:27:00.005+01:00

Dale al play... Lakmé.

No es la India, escenario de la ópera de Léo Delibes, sino la Pedra Foradada de Rupit.

EXTRA BONUS:

Foto de la Tierra realizada por la NASA (definición 64 millones de pixeles). Lástima que no salga Europa porque sino verías a mi suegra tendiendo la ropa. ¡¡Dale al zoom a tope!!.